If you have been in a relationship with a narcissist, especially raised by one, you may find that you struggle in life. That struggle comes from the impact the narcissist’s insanity has had on your psyche.
Being around the narcissist with his sick and twisted mind has disturbed your inner peace. Being who you are has become dangerous around the narcissist because being who you are is a threat to them so they have attacked you for it. Having no sense of self of their own, another’s individuality scares the narcissist and therefore has to be contained and controlled.
The damage you feel during and after being with the narcissist is that your sense of self is distorted, you no longer feel like yourself. This happens because the narcissist imprisons you, they build a cage around you and the longer they are around you, the stronger that cage becomes.
You may notice that after a while you may start thinking:
- I am not myself
- I am not free
- I am not independent
- I am not confident
- I don’t trust myself
- I can’t rely on myself
- I don’t believe in myself
This is the trance induced in you by the narcissist. With every word, every gesture, every act the narcissist is trying to take over your mind, to mould you into a person that is convenient to them, the person who is so insecure that they have to rely on the narcissist and this is how the narcissist then controls and consumes the person.
A narcissist is essentially a parasite that needs a host to feed off. The narcissist with their empty psyche lives a hollow existence where they are not aware of themselves. They are simply driven by the instincts of survival.
They cannot see themselves as a separate, independent person. They can only get a glimpse of their existence relative to another. They need another to feel alive, to feel like they exist and the only way they can do that is to use another either by dominating them and therefore feeling superior or submitting to them and therefore feeling inferior.
Because the narcissists feel they need another to survive psychologically, they hunt the human prey during the love-bombing stage and once the prey is caught they need to make sure it does not escape. This is where the insidious erosion of the other person’s sense of self takes place. The narcissist destroys the other’s free will so that the other can be controlled. The narcissist builds a cage around the person by telling them:
- “You are not good enough.”
- “You do everything wrong.”
- “There is nothing you can do right.”
If you have experienced narcissistic abuse please know that the truth is that you are a fine and normal human being. The truth is that everything is ok with you. The truth is that you are a healthy, beautiful, worthy person whose right it is to be themselves, to be free and to feel joy. Wake up from the narcissist’s trance and leave the cage!