Narcissists are unable to tolerate aliveness in all beings. It truly scares them and if it is in their way it enrages them. They are unable to see the brilliance, the purity, the wondrous vibration of the alive universe. Instead they have a binary view of the world: is this thing a resource for me or a threat to me?
Everything alive, everything that moves and breathes is a potential threat or, at the very least, an inconvenience. Being deeply insecure people, they do not feel safe in the world so in order to counteract that, they work hard to either control life or to ultimately destroy it.
Why are alive beings such a threat to a narcissist? Being alive means being free and independent, having your own needs, desires, preferences, interests, goals and so on. Essentially life does its own thing, it’s uncontrollable. This is what terrifies a narcissist, the forever changing, shifting, moving nature of life.
Unable to handle and fearing other people’s changing emotional and physical states, needs and desires, the narcissist at the same time abhors emptiness. Being alone is probably their ultimate fear. In this perpetual turmoil they ignore, deny, invalidate, control and destroy life, they methodically destroy aliveness around themselves, be it the Amazon rainforest or their spouse’s health and wellbeing.
They would love to be surrounded by machines which they can fully control. Just study the manual, go through the settings, programme it to suit your needs, switch it on and off as required. They would love it if they could treat humans as machines too.
Oh wait! That’s exactly what they do! They study a person (the narcissist’s target) painstakingly and try to get them to open up in order to collect vital information, mainly vulnerabilities, which they can use later as “buttons” to control the person they are with. Once the other person is invested enough, emotionally, financially and in other ways, the programming begins.
The narcissist starts meticulously shaping the other person’s perception of reality to suit their own needs. All of this is done on the narcissist’s terms: they come and go as they please, they disappear and come back, as they “switch on and off” the interaction with the other person.
So if you find yourself in a situation where your being a human, your aliveness happens to be inconvenient and in someone’s way. When you see that attempts are being made to control you in any way, it’s narcissists playing their delusional game with human machines and it is time to get out. Save your health and your sanity, save your life before they turn you into a machine!