Why is it so difficult to live? Why does life seem so complicated? Why are order and consistency out of reach? Why is there this constant feeling of heaviness, pain, pressure, despondence, emptiness, exhaustion and burnout? Why is it so difficult to achieve your goals, big or small? Even the basic daily tasks seem impossibly …
There is no freedom when you are in the grip of a psychopath. She’s caught you with her claws, holding you in her bear grip. She is constricting you, binding you, suffocating you. You find yourself in a state near to comatose. She forbids you your freedom. She forbids you your right to be and …
A selfless person is someone who cares for other people’s needs and desires more than for her own needs and desires. When bringing up and socialising children our society encourages selflessness. Selflessness is told to be a virtue. And so because we are told that this is something good, something to strive towards, something to …
The antidote to fear of being judged is to understand what it is and how to resolve it. Once you know what you are dealing with, you’ll start to develop immunity to it. So, if you find yourself fearing other people’s judgement, here are some things to consider that may help you start dissolving that …
You may feel the intense pressure to be perfect, pressure of such magnitude that you feel you can’t move. This immovable plinth is pressing down on you, blocking all movement, signs of life even. Pushing against it is pointless. It feels far greater than you can possibly handle. Helplessness and powerlessness prevail. All meaning is …
Intro and situation description The other day I was in a cafe and witnessed the following situation. An elderly couple entered the cafe. (Note: for the sake of simplicity let’s assume that they are married but the dynamics we’re discussing here could apply to any other relationship as I believe they are universal. Also, ultimately …
What’s on the menu or who controls a relationship? Read More »
You may have had an experience of someone offering you their help and when you say no, they just would not let go and keep insisting on helping you until you give in. Let’s have a look at what’s going on here. This is one of the disordered person’s strategies to gain control over you. …
A narcissist does not take no for an answer when you refuse their help? Read More »
The signs of a cluttered mind, cluttered psyche, are the feelings of being unfocused, unclear, anxious, exhausted, overwhelmed, lost, depressed. In a balanced state our minds are clear, calm and focused. If this is not your experience you may have lots of cyclical thoughts, ruminations, painful emotions that you do not want to deal with …
A relationship with a narcissist can often lead to a state of learned helplessness. The closer the relationship, the higher the chance that we can develop it. Learned helplessness is a permeating sense of powerlessness which we adopt when we feel that we cannot deal with a difficult situation because we cannot either confront or …
Learned helplessness in narcissistic relationships Read More »
The reality is that a narcissist cannot love. They are simply incapable of this feeling. They do, however, use the notion of love as a bargaining tool to get what they want from their partner. Here by “partner” I mean a participant of any close relationship, be it a parent and child, a husband and …
